Two options

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Excitement

Curiosity

Anticipation

or

Anxiety

Frustration

Hopelessness.

It’s my choice.

It doesn’t feel like it

but it is my choice.

Two options.

Two possible reactions.

To the same situation

of current unknowing.

A place of uncertainty

Not knowing what the future will hold

Things that seem stable shake

Many things unresolved

Many questions unanswered

Where will I be?

What will I do?

My natural reaction:

anxiety and frustration,

attempts to control and fix the situation into certainty.

But those reactions are based on the premise

that it’s my responsibility to resolve this.

To tie it down.

To bring security to myself.

But what if that premise is false?

Not suppressing my feelings

but challenging them to align

with what I know

and have experienced

to be true.

And taking time to receive that truth

in my heart as well as my head.

What if my premise changes?

What if the premise is that I stand on the only rock

and that rock is a person

who loves me

is trustworthy

knows the end from the beginning

is with me always, even through hard times

will bring good out of even what was meant for harm

who has good plans for me

that He will bring about.

Looking back

as I retell my own stories to myself,

my experience back that up

in remarkable ways in fact.

So then if that’s the premise,

maybe I can take my hands off

and wait.

Not passive waiting

but alert,

receptive to what He’s doing,

willing to participate and step out

when He prompts me to.

If that’s the case

maybe

just maybe

radical and illogical as it seems right now

I could wait

with excitement, curiosity and anticipation.

That feels profoundly different.

I wonder what He will do?

———————-

 

“The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me; your love, O Lord, endures for ever.” Psalm 138:8

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2 responses »

  1. Wonderful. True. Powerful. Thanks for putting words to the concept that we have come to believe… that the ‘normal’ life with Christ, is one of uncertainty! We love the thoughts of Oswald Chambers on April 29th with regards to this… (if you have a moment, have look…) are we waiting with anxiety… or… breathless anticipation!

    Bless you in this special (growing) season… we love your journey… thanks for sharing it with us… love, Jim and Becky

  2. Feeling for and with you in the “uncertainty”, Hilary. You express the tensions so well, between wanting to “pin” things down and trusting that all will be well because you have enough experience by now of the one who is trustworthy. We’ll be there towards the end of November; hoping you will be too. Love Mxxx

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